Fantasy Baseball: S-Words for $500

Set your VCRs ... er ... Tivos, for you cool kids out there.

Date: Tuesday, March 27
Time: 12:00pm (noon) EDT
Where: ESPN

What: The Baseball Tonight crew is going to hold their fantasy draft. And this is bound to be hilarious. Remember when John Kruk predicted Randy Johnson would win 30 games in 2005? Yeah, those were special times. And it's bound to happen again.

Here's what's going to happen: The first round is going to be absolutely ridiculous, as Kruk, Ravech and Gammons are going to display absolutely no insight into how fantasy baseball works, but basing this episode on fantasy ball knowing that the concept should get some exposure.

Predictions:

• Peter Gammons is going to kill all of them (if there is an actual draft). I doubt he plays any fantasy baseball, but I imagine he understands the concept of "scarcity", "upside" and "math". He also has an encyclopedic understanding of every aspect of the game, a trait held by all sports-loving cyborgs that walk this Earth.
  
• John Kruk will take Joe Mauer with his first pick. If they don't draft, he'll say that "Mauer is a no-brain first round pick. He will then name about 7 more catchers that would be solid players to have on your team, citing this as evidence for "scarcity".
  
• Karl Ravech will do a decent job, as he's the most likely to have been in a league before and done well. He will look disdainfully towards Kruky after all of Kruk's inexplicable picks.
  
• Someone will name David Eckstein as a sleeper, as his grit and determination are important characteristics to have in a fantasy bench player.
  
• Someone else will pick Gary Matthews, Jr. under the false understanding that making one incredible catch a year somehow contributes to your fantasy standings.

I cannot wait. And the best part is that at no point will they actually take advantage of the resources of ESPN and call on Funston or Karabell to join in. Listen, this didn't have to be an episode devoted to fantasy baseball - but it is. There are a lot of discussions that can be had comparing fantasy production and actual production, projections, position battles in spring training, etc. I can hope, but I have my doubts.